10 Powerful Questions to Ask Instead of “So, What Do You Do?”

Let’s have better conversations, shall we?

We’ve all been there. You meet someone new, there’s that awkward pause, and out comes the classic:“So… what do you do?”

It’s the default small talk question. But let’s be honest—it’s kind of boring. And worse, it often boxes people in by their job title, when they’re so much more than that.

Some people love their jobs. Others are just paying the bills. And some don’t even know how to answer that question right now. So if you want to actually connect with someone—and maybe have a chat that doesn’t make them want to escape to the snack table—here are 10 better questions to ask instead.

🌱 1. What lights you up?

This question is open, warm, and way more interesting. It gives people permission to talk about anything that excites them—whether it’s their work, their dog, their side project, or the TV show they’re obsessed with.

🤔 2. What’s something you’ve learned recently that surprised you?

Great for sparking a thoughtful or quirky conversation. People love sharing fun facts, new insights, or unexpected lessons.

🌍 3. If you could spend a year anywhere in the world, where would you go and why?

Dreamy, imaginative, and a fun way to get a glimpse of someone’s personality and values.

🎯 4. What’s something you’re working on (professionally or personally) that you’re excited about?

This one still lets people talk about their work if they want to—but with more heart and less pressure to define themselves by a job title.

📚 5. What’s a book, podcast, or film that really stuck with you?

Instant common ground. Bonus points if it turns into a passionate discussion or some great recommendations.

🎨 6. What do you love doing so much that you lose track of time?

This gets right to the heart of someone’s flow state. It’s about joy, passion, and those little moments when we feel most ourselves.

🧠 7. If you had an extra day every week, how would you spend it?

Let’s pretend we’re not all drowning in to-do lists for a second. This question reveals people’s secret desires and priorities—what they wish they had more time for.

💬 8. What’s something you wish more people asked you about?

A powerful one. It gives people the chance to talk about what really matters to them—and often leads to meaningful, unexpected conversations.

🌟 9. What does a good day look like for you?

Everyone’s version of a “good day” is different—and hearing someone describe theirs tells you so much about what they value and enjoy.

🧡 10. Who or what inspires you?

A beautiful way to open up a deeper conversation about growth, creativity, admiration, and motivation.

Final Thought

Next time you’re at a party, networking event, or chatting in the queue for coffee—ditch the job title talk and try one of these instead. You might just spark a conversation that actually goes somewhere.

And who knows? You might walk away feeling a little more connected, and a lot less like you're stuck in autopilot small talk.

Want to explore deeper questions and more meaningful conversations in your life? That’s what Life Coaching is all about.Let’s talk: faye@moxiecoaching.co.uk 🌻